Written Secrets
by iLegitimate
Summary: Gill never told Angela how he felt; how will he fare when he finds out Chase proposed to her? A simple songfic.


_**Author's note: Okay, this is just a songfic I wrote to get into a writing mood since I have zero inspiration right now c:**_

_**Nothing special. Hope you guys like it and if I make any mistakes please tell me so I can fix them. Some things may be off since I don't currently own Tot/Ap yet, such as personalities.**_

_**Song: Speakers by Days Difference.**_

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_**(Gill's Point of View)**_

"Good morning Elli." I greeted the brunette as I entered the town hall, early as always.

Her head lifted as she glanced at me.

"Oh, yes. Good morning." She paused to look back down at some paperwork. "Hamilton left some paperwork for you to sign and file away. It's on your desk."

"Very well_._" I muttered as my feet carried me to my all too familiar desk.

The paperwork was indeed on my desk; stacked neatly into a small pile on the corner. With a sigh I reached out and started to scan to contents of the papers. They mostly consisted of meeting arrangements for my father with other towns and release forms for goods to be imported to the town.

Pathetic. Utterly_ pathetic._

I looked down at the first paper, namely a meeting with the mayor of Mineral Town, and signed my signature long with stamping it with the mayor's seal. Pushing it to the side, I turned my attention to the next document and continued the pattern.

After a few minutes in silence I glanced at the door.

_She isn't coming._

I knew this, it had been the same for the past few weeks, and yet I felt my heart sink as it always does. The hollow feeling in my stomach returned as I tried to get back to my work; except this time I couldn't.

_How could I have lost her?_

I always have the answer to everything but that one question floated through my mind, more then any other, and I never had the answer.

A heavy sigh escaped my lips.

"Gill?"

Pulled out of my thoughts, my gaze drifted upwards, meeting a pair of dark brown eyes.

I wanted to look away but her gaze kept my eyes locked on hers. Just seeing her made my heart beat faster.

"Angela." My voice wasn't more then a whisper; if even that.

For a while we just stared at each other, neither saying a word.

"H-hey." She looked at her feet, her brown hair covering her face from my view. "Can we talk?" Her lips curled into a small smile as she looked towards me once again.

As she waited I felt my heart speed up just from her gaze.

I wanted to say yes; I wanted to just be friends with her again. To just act like her and Chase didn't bother me, _but it did_. As much as I wanted to just forget about Chase and Angela; I couldn't. As much I hate to admit it, I just couldn't act like nothing was wrong. Maybe the 'old' Gill could; in fact, he _would._ He would just brush it off and focus on becoming Mayor. It wouldn't faze him, and life would be so much easier.

_But that was the problem._

Angela changed him, whether she knew it or not.

Slowly I nodded towards the brunette.

She took a small breath of air before speaking, "Gill, I'm not sure how to say this.." Her voice started to trail off; all I could hear was the pounding of my heart. She opened her mouth again. "Chase proposed to me."

_ The studio's dark,_

_I've got the candles on**. **_

I felt the color drain from my face; was this some sort of sick practical joke? Her words repeated in my thoughts, each time the same.

I opened my mouth to speak but I couldn't find my voice; it was gone. It abandoned me, like everything else.

Just like when my mother left my father and myself.

Just the same as when everyone in the town gave up on trying to be friends with me.

The same as when Luna gave up on her crush on me.

It was all the same, and now the cycle was repeating; _only it hurt even more_.

_I'm trying to write words to the perfect song._

_But nothing will rhyme,_

_ Nothing sounds right. _

Slowly she walked away from me, getting further away from me with every step. I tried to call her back, but my voice was no where to be found.

"I'm so sorry Gill. I-" Her hand reached for the door.

I wanted to scream. This couldn't happen, _not Angela too_.

She turned to me one more time; tears spilling out of her eyes. "I didn't accept yet b-but I cant keep him waiting."

_Now you're gone._

The door closed behind her and she was gone.

I sat there, staring at the door. She'll come back, she has too.

But she didn't.

I knew I was acting childish, she was just a farmer. She chose who she wanted, it just turned out to be the chef, not the rude and snobbish mayor-to-be. It was the logical choice of course; Angela just wasn't meant to be mine. But even though I knew this, I couldn't help it.

_Maybe if I would have told her how I felt._

I let out a shaky breath and reached for my diary under my desk. Carefully, I turned it to my last entry.

_It's raining outside so you can't be far,_

_You're probably still soaked sitting in your car._

_Trying to make sense of all that we said,_

_But you can't._

Without hesitation I wrote all of my thoughts onto the pages. Everything I thought about Angela that I couldn't say to her in person, the ink bled it into the paper.

That was something I always loved about writing in ink; you can never take it back. No matter how unsure you were when you wrote it, it'll always be there.

_And the words coming out of the speakers,_

_Are the only way I've got left to reach you._

_My soul plays the keys, _

_And my heart plays the drums._

_I need you to hear me so turn the radio on._

With a nervous sigh I got to my feet, diary in hand. I waited for a moment; tracing the spine of the small, familiar book. _What if I'm too late?_

Chase and Angela would live happily ever after, while I stood in the sidelines filled with regret.

I felt myself scowl at the thought.

Slowly I pushed myself to the door; the hollow feeling in my chest keeping me from dashing out of the door. _What if she doesn't feel the same way? _

I pushed my thoughts away as I opened the door. Before I walked out I grabbed a small stereo on Elli's desk.

_It's now or never._

_Now I'm trying and I'm dying to see you._

I stepped into the cold autumn air, my blond hair franticly waving in the small bursts of air. With the stereo in one hand and my diary in the other, I broke into a run.

_Got my pain on the mic, _

_Laying it all out tonight._

I ran as blindly into the darkness. I didn't care if my suit got dirty, nor did I care if I fell. I needed to see Angela one more time; even if she didn't return my feelings. I need her to know how I feel when I think of her. I need her to see how much she changed me, but, most of all; I needed to see if she felt the same way.

_I'll do it again and again till I get it right._

_Turn em up, turn up the speakers,_

_Turn em up, turn up the speakers,_

_Turn em up, turn up the speakers,_

_Turn em up, turn up the speakers._

As I got to her ranch I slowed down, taking a huff of air here and there.

Her animals were inside so she was probably home by now. I set the stereo down a few feet from her door as well as my diary.

I turned the stereo one as I heard the classical music spill out of the speakers and closed my eyes.

_Angela._

"Don't let me be too late." I whispered the words.

_I turn up the sound, _

_Hoping somehow,_

_I'll reach you._

"Hello?" Angela's voice rang out. Her head peered out of her door as I was starting to leave; the diary and stereo still sitting there.

As she noticed the two items I stopped walking and turned to see her reaction.

Cautiously she opened my diary and started to read.

_But I know that I can't, _

_So I dial your phone._

_I don't leave a message, _

_I just play the song._

_I hope that you hear,_

_ I hope that it's dear._

_As soon as you hold it up, _

_up to your ear._

She sat on the grass and started at the beginning, reading each page.

Some pages she read to herself aloud, and I could hear her voice tremble and falter. I just stood there, and although she didn't know I was there; I couldn't bring myself to face her. She was reading every thought, secret, and complaint that crossed my mind. I was letting her into a place where I never let others go and that made me feel uncomfortable when I thought about it too much.

When she reached my final page she read aloud.

"Angela, I'm not sure where to start. Since you've read my diary, I'm sure you know how I feel now. I'm sorry for anything I've ever done to cause you pain.. and I hope you stay happy no matter what. I've always hoped that maybe you cared the same way about me; but I'm not so sure. I see you with Chase and I can't stand losing you, but if he makes you happy that's all I care about." Her voice was soft as she started to read to herself again.

I heard her let out a sob or two as she repeated the last line.

"I love you, and always will."

_And I wanna wrap these words around you,_  
_'Cause I'll do whatever it takes for this song to find you._

The last words I heard as I silently walked away were a shaky 'I love you too, Gill.'

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**_I know, its not amazing but I wrote whatever came into my mind xD_**

**_Hope you enjoyed it and well, I hope I didn't make Gill too out of character._**


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